


The 7 Stages of Grief

by Valkiyresgirl



Category: Jane the Virgin
Genre: Character Death, F/M, Flashbacks, I just want Michael back lmao, I miss Michael, Mention of Character Death, Sad, Spoilers, omg so freaking sad im so sorry, what if
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-04-12
Updated: 2018-04-12
Packaged: 2019-04-20 23:44:11
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 2
Words: 4,919
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14272143
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Valkiyresgirl/pseuds/Valkiyresgirl
Summary: Jane Villanueva was clearly not ready for the news delivered to her on the phone. From what she had known, life was finally starting to  brighten up. She was happily married to her best friend, Michael Cordero who was to become a lawyer soon and with her new job, possibilities were on the rise. Life had calmed down and it was finally quiet. Jane's life had not been this quiet in the last couple months/years but she was okay with that. She as a respected author would have never used such a cliche line but things were too quiet.(About Chapter Fifty-Four)





	1. Shock

**Author's Note:**

> I wrote this to show how I think Jane and the family would have reacted to the news since the jtv writers couldn't even give me that after killing off the best character in the whole show. I would have wrote this sooner but eh. It's here now. I'm sort of rewatching the series so I just wanted to do some speculating and try it out. I also really miss Michael and I'm convinced he's coming back some how. (Its not the first time the writers would bring someone back from the dead...) HE DESERVED BETTER THAN THIS!

The new job had brought so much happiness to Jane. She told Alba and Xo about her plans of hoping to move up through the ranks of the publishing industry and then hopefully publish her own book. It was a dream come true. Alba grabbed her hand and congratulated her. Jane's heart was full. Mateo was doing well after recovering from being a bit sick and Michael was taking his LSATS. Jane couldn't have been prouder. She smiled just thinking about him. He had been studying so hard. He was so determined. Michael was so ambitious. She never told him but she really admired his work ethic. Jane was known as a studious person but Michael really came through, with his study groups and various practice tests. Jane knew for sure he would pass. Ace the test even. He would grow to become such a fantastic lawyer. He already was as far as she was concerned. 

Jane got up and went to check up on Mateo. Talking to him in a bubbly voice. "What do you think? Is Michael almost done with his test, Mateo? Mhm?" She lifted Mateo up and kissed his cheek. He giggled and hugged her back. Jane went to do some work at her computer after setting Mateo down. Michael should be calling any minute to confirm the test was over and that he felt it went great. Jane could already see him, coming home with his tin police officer lunchbox and one of his bright smiles on his face. He was so cute, Jane thought to herself. She was finally really happy with how the way things were. Of course, she wished it could have came sooner but she wouldn't change much. Only the danger her family had faced. She was so scared when Michael has been shot, she was so lucky that he'd recovered so well. She didn't know how it would be if things hadn't turned out the way they did.

But she pushed that memory to the back of her mind. She was in too much of a good mood to think of such a horrid memory. She thought back to yesterday and looked at the old photo booth pictures they had taken years ago.  She wanted to show Xo the comparison of this one to the newer photo booth photo but she changed her mind this morning, putting the new one in Michael's lunchbox instead. That was her memory to keep. She wanted it to stay between her and Michael so she only showed Xo the old one.

Xo laughed, "You had such a baby face!" 

"Ma..." Jane groaned with a smile. "Look at Michael, though! He was so nervous." She sighed lovingly. "He was so adorable."

"I remember when he picked you up. He shook my hand so tightly it was so weird and out of character. You both have really grown into a beautiful couple. I'm so glad you chose him over-"

"Ma!"

Xo laughed and tossed her hair back, "Jane, I'm just kidding. But it is true. He's perfect for you. You two make such a wonderful team."

And that they did. Jane thought back to all the memories they had together. He was so cheesy and corny. But such a sweetie. Mateo loved him too and that was such a great thing. Michael was such a good dad. Jane needed to remind him of that sometimes, he could be a bit insecure about Rafael being the father. Yet, Michael loved Mateo as if he was his own. The pregnancy scare was less of the scare to Jane when she saw how Michael reacted. She kid herself thinking that they would be stressed about it. A baby Michael would have been a perfect addition to their family. Despite Jane's initial thoughts, she really believed they could make it work. They had been through a lot worse and with Michael getting his schooling done while the kids were still young, they could start saving for their children's college by the time Michael graduated. Earlier even. With Jane's new job and Michael becoming a lawyer they would have a nice, steady income. 

Jane got flustered at just the thought, she had always wanted a big family and now she could have one.

She packed up Mateo's stuff and headed back over to her and Michael's apartment. It was small but more than enough. It was home now. The drive wasn't too bad from the Villanueva house. It was close but not too close. She felt like a real adult. Not like she hadn't been one before it just felt as if her life was really beginning. With a new apartment and her  _own_ bills to pay, a baby to take care of and a husband to love. Not that all real adults had to be like that, she quickly thought, even in her mind she was politically correct. It was just new to her that she didn't live with her mom and abuela. She took Mateo out of his car seat and sat him down on the kitchen floor to play with some building blocks. She had heard somewhere that it was good for problem solving and developing a strong way of thinking. Once he was old enough, Michael had promised to build a lego _USS Enterprise_ with him. The pieces were too small for Mateo now but Michael was so excited to be able to nerd out with someone other than Jane, who quite frankly didn't appreciate the nerdy action movies as much as he did.

Her phone buzzed, Rafael texted her.  _On my way over now. Make sure Mateo has Mr.Monkey, don't want to have another scene._

Jane rolled her eyes,  _I haven't let that thing out of my sight! Never losing that again..._ She double checked that the toy Mateo clung onto was on his stroller. She sat down on the sofa and decided to check social media, a thing she hadn't done recently. Too busy with work and everything surrounding it. Social media was just a bunch of people making their life seem a lot cooler than it actually was. It was also filled with her dad's constant updates that she chose to ignore. He was working on a project with Darcy so he kept posting pictures with her to tease the fans. It was quite funny actually but she'd never admit that to her dad though. It would crush him. 

In the kitchen, she heard a drop of blocks so she got up to check on Mateo, he was fine but her phone began to ring. An unknown number but she answered it anyway. "Hello, is this Jane Villanueva-Cordero?" 

"Yes, this is she. Who's calling?" 

"I'm Dr. Harry Lyndon with the University of Miami Hospital and I have your husband here. We found this number on his phone."

Jane's heart began to beat furiously, "Is everything alright?"

"Mrs.Cordero, I'm sorry to bring you this news but your husband was in very bad condition after his test and evidently, he had fallen to the ground. The employees called 911 as soon as possible and we did everything we could but he didn't... he didn't make it. Your husband's death was ultimately the result of his gunshot wound. His blood pressure spiked and he had an aortic dissection. We're so sorry."  

Jane dropped her phone right where she stood, nothing mattered in that moment. There was a ringing in her ears, a stabbing pain in her heart. She faintly heard the door open as she fell to her knees, sobbing. She yelled out but felt strong arms around her. She cried out in pain, hating that Mateo saw her like this but she couldn't do anything else but cry. "No!" She had yelled this more than once. She couldn't just accept that. It couldn't be true. Michael had recovered so well. He was here this morning! They had breakfast and talked about the carnival yesterday and then their plans to celebrate the LSATS. They were supposed to go to dinner tonight, Jane wanted to give him a surprise and take him to the stand they'd always go to. She wanted to tell everyone that her husband took the LSATS and crushed them! She wanted to be able to see him receive his acceptance letter that he got into some law school. They planned which of their champaign bottles they would pop. 

"Jane, what happened?" Rafael held her tight and only asked once. He knew she was hurting but he had never seen her this bad. He'd jumped to the conclusion that something had happened to Alba or Xo, "Is Alba okay?". Michael hadn't once crossed his mind. He'd never admit it to Michael but deep down he had a sort of respect for Michael and his line of work. He even though becoming a lawyer was bold but it was a safe move. He'd always appreciate Michael for that, Jane knew that. Rafael told this to Jane one time as he picked up Mateo, Jane was ecstatic. The two father figures in Mateo's life finally saying good things about each other? That was some serious progress. She thought things were getting better between the two of them but now all that was down the drain.  

Jane turned around and held Rafael back. Hot tears stained her cheeks and her throat was tight. Her face had never gotten this red before. She tried to explain what had happened to Michael but every time she thought about it, only hard sobs were expressed. Rafael rubbed her back. "It's...It's Micha-" She couldn't even cry out his name. "He-He's..." She sobbed again. 

"What-Michael?" Rafael replied, "Here, let's go to the couch. I'll call Xo over and she can... she can care for Mateo right now. I don't want him to hear or see this." Rafael sat her down at the couch and then went to go comfort Mateo. 

Jane nodded, grabbed a throw pillow and clutched it tightly against her chest. She had no idea what to do but replay this morning over and over in her head. He was fine. He was so energized, she couldn't imagine anything wrong. Had he lied to her? Saying that he was fine? Was he hurting? He would have told her, right? She must've asked him hundreds of times, when they woke up, during breakfast, and after that, too. He pleaded for her to stop with a smile,  _Jane, stop worrying about me. I'm feeling good and confident. Especially all that studying you made me do._  He laughed. _As long as you believe in me, I'll be alright._ And then he kissed her on the forehead and grabbed everything he needed. Where did she go wrong? Was there anyway to have prevented this? Rafael's voice in the background faded out. She saw Rafael pick up Mateo, she saw Xo and Alba walk into her home. She even hugged them, and hugged Rogelio when he got there. They were all much stronger than she was at this moment. She had always been strong but right now, she couldn't comprehend anything they were saying to each other. She couldn't even focus, her eyes kept welling. Her heart had been torn from her body. She felt empty. 

Rafael shook her arm, "Jane, do you want to go to the hospital? To see him?"

Jane shook her head, furiously. Seeing him there, in a bed, with his eyes closed knowing he wouldn't be able to wake up... That would make this nightmare all too real for Jane. "No, I don't want to go." If she didn't go, maybe it wouldn't be true. If she didn't see him there, she could believe he was just stuck in traffic or caught up with something else. Not going would keep Jane in denial. 

Alba sat next to her on the couch, "Nosotros estaremos allí para ti, Jane _."_

 _"_ Abuela, its not that." Jane choked out, "I know that. I just- I just don't think I can see him like _that."_ She wanted so badly for them to say that this wasn't happening. She wanted so bad to wake up or to look over and see Michael in the doorway, clutching his lunchbox and saying that he passed the test. She thought she did see him there, for a second her eyes perked up. Her imagination was very active but the reality of the situation tore his image away from her. She didn't want to forget him. She wouldn't be able to forgive herself if she did. She was scared she'd forget the way his voice sounded, the way he used his hands when he talked or the way he played with Mateo. She glanced over to the wall next to the door, seeing Michael in those photos. The ones from their wedding and from when Mateo was younger. He seemed to be smiling at her from the photos,  _It'll be okay, Jane. I love you._

Jane sucked in another sob and looked over to Mateo being held in Xo's arms. He had no clue what had just happened to his family. He was still that pure kid who lived to love and learn. For a second, Jane smiled when Mateo looked at her. It faded as soon as she heard Xo's voice snapping her back into real time.

"Jane, sweetie the hospital keeps calling. They can't... They can't keep him there for too long." 

They can't keep him there! What was that supposed to mean? Of course they could keep him there. He could... A funeral. That's what they mean, they wanted him out of there. A dead person just takes up space in a constantly moving hospital. How rude. Jane couldn't imagine greeting people at a service and saying things like  _thank you for your concern_ or  _thank you for your support._ Or the the looks of pity. Michael wouldn't have wanted anything like that. He'd want a party or something. He was the type of person would try to make you laugh if you were sad, instead of being sad with you. He'd listen to you and then make one of his silly faces or tell you that you were overreacting and that everything would work out. _Things always work out._ Jane wasn't sure about this time though.  

"Mom, I don't think I'll be able to," Jane sighed, "to put _that_ together." 

"But Jane, you're his wife, and you know him better than anyone. You'd know what he wants. And you're a great planner." She noticed how Xo danced around the verb tenses. All present. 

She shook her head with tears in her eyes, "I don't think I can this time, Ma." 

Rogelio crouched and grabbed Jane's hands, "I can help you, Jane."

"Dad, I don't want some elaborate-"

"Of course, honey. I understand how serious this is." He sucked in hard, he was clearly hurting as well. "My brogelio deserves the best." His eyes filled with tears. "But, Jane, you know very well that Michael would not want you to feel this way. He loves you. He needs you to stay strong. For Mateo and yourself." 

Jane nodded with shaky breath. "Okay. Charo can't come to the - _mmhm_ \- though. I only want family and friends."

Rogelio winced but nodded, "Only the best for my Jane." He gives a sad smile and stands back up. 

"We should really go to the hospital though." Xo said. 

"What about Mateo?" Rafael asked and turned to Jane, "Do you want to him to see Michael?"

"I mean, he has a right to know." Jane sniffled, "He won't understand. I think he'll be okay to see him for a little bit. Ma, do you think you could watch him when we get there? I want him to see Mic-" She shakes her head. "I want Mateo to see him after me. He already saw me breakdown once."  

"Bueno, yo manejaré." Alba announced. 

Jane grabbed her shoes from the bedroom as everyone waited for her in the car. She couldn't believe that today they both woke up in the same bed, next to each other. Full of love and wonder for their future together. Jane sat on the bed to put her shoes on. She sat on Michael's side. She leaned over to smell his pillow. His scent still on it, strong and distinct, just like him. She couldn't cry again, her eyes felt dry so she took a deep breath and prepared herself for what lay ahead. 


	2. Pain and Heartbreak

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Jane sees Michael in the hospital.

The hospital was quiet. Clean and smelled like disinfectant. Like hospitals always were. The nurse pointed in the direction of the room Michael was in and Jane held her head up high as the family trailed behind her but she was hurting inside. She hadn't felt like she was breathing correctly since they pulled up in the parking lot. She wouldn't dare look in a mirror for fear of not recognizing herself. She felt like a mess. 

They reached the room and Raf asked if she wanted him to go in with her. Jane replied with a quick "No. I want to see him by myself for a while." Rafael respected that and waited outside with the rest of the family. Jane took a deep breath before opening the door. She closed it behind her before looking at Michael in his hospital bed. He looked peaceful. Tranquil and pale. She really hoped he didn't suffer in his last moments. 

She pulled up a chair next to his bed and held her breath before reaching out for his hand. She held back tears. She was hesitant to touch him but she got the courage to hold his hand. Her other hand free to stroke his cheek. She thought her heart wouldn't be able to handle this. "I love you, Michael." She couldn't look at him any longer, her head fell and she cried. She cried until she didn't have any tears left. "I wish I could have done more, I wish I had known what to do. I wish you were still here. I wish you could talk to me... I want to hear your voice. I took you for granted, Michael." She paused, holding a hand up to her mouth. "I wish things had been different. We could have moved out of Florida. We could have lived anywhere else. I would have been happy where ever we were as long as I was with you. I want to be strong for you, Michael. But its just so hard, baby." She laid her head on his chest. Hoping- Praying to hear a heart beat, anything. But nothing. Just the sounds of Jane's unsteady breathing. She felt as if at any moment she'd fall apart. A strong gust of wind could knock her over. 

She glanced at his face again. Hoping to see some movement behind the eyelids or his nose to twitch. She would take a coma over this. This was just too painful, at least with a coma there was some chance. She can't believe she would think something like that, both were terrible. She just wanted her husband to be able to live his life. Jane didn't know what to do with herself. She hugged him, hoping to feel his arms around her again, to feel a kiss on the cheek or the forehead. Anything. She didn't have chance to say a goodbye. She did before he left for his test but that wasn't enough. She hadn't known she was never going to see him again. She thought so many things, she would have never guessed this would have happened to one of the strongest men in her life. 

She didn't want to be in this much pain. She wanted to go back to her home where she could deny this and avoid seeing him like this. She wanted to go back in time. Of course this was impossible but she wanted more memories and more laughter. She didn't have enough memories. The ones she had were amazing but not enough. They weren't as much as she wanted. She wanted to get a pet with him and have another baby. She wanted him to see Mateo graduate and get married and now he'd only be able to see that from above. That was no way to view a child's life. 

She couldn't even imagine how this would affect Mateo's life and his memories of Michael. He probably would never remember him. That's what killed her the most. Michael had put his life on the line for Mateo and herself numerous times and Mateo wouldn't even be able to remember that. 

Jane didn't want to leave his side but as she glanced at the clock above her head she realized an hour had gone by. She had to get up at sometime. She was surprised no one had come in to check on her. She had guessed that her family understood and wanted her to have space. She stood up, letting go of Michael's hand in the process. Her heart still yearning, her imagination running wild, making Jane believe that he'd winked at her. She wished her brain would stop playing such tricks on her. She opened the door and faced her family who sat in the greenish chairs right outside the door. 

"Do you want Mateo to go now?" Rafael asked, "With you or with me?" 

"You all can go ahead. I need some air." Jane said, turned on her heel and b-lined for the side entrance of the hospital. 

"Do you need anyone to go with you?" Xo said, but Jane was already out the door. She just wanted to go home. She wanted to lay in bed for two months, sleep away all this pain. She pulled the keys to the car out of her purse and sat in the car. Breathing heavily but not crying, her eyes just stung at this point. She didn't think she had another tear left in her. She turned on a pop station. Trying to pull herself together, she flipped so she could see the herself in the mirror. Her mascara was ruined and she looked hopeless. She flipped it back up and dreaded the future.

When they arrived back at Jane's house, the sun had set. Alba had offered to cook but Jane couldn't bare to eat anything, as she thought she might throw up if she did. She picked up Mateo and said she was going to put him to bed. "Hey, Mr. Sweetface. I know you don't what's going on but thanks for being strong." She smiled as he babbled. "Mommy's not crazy, just tired." She put Mateo in his bed and then she herself laid down. 

She grabbed Michael's pillow and hugged it tightly. It was cold but at least it still smelled like him. She closed her eyes. The rustling of her family in the background slowly faded. Mateo's babbling got quieter and soon enough she fell asleep...

~~~

"Jane. Jane!" Michael shook Jane awake. "Mateo's graduation is in 20 minutes, you said you'd be ready by now. _"_ Michael stood beside the bed in an unfamiliar room. It was bigger than their apartment bedroom. It had more pictures and a tv in it. An actual walk in closet and a bookshelf with various unrecognizable souvenirs. Michael was dressed in a black suit with a dark blue tie, he looked older. Michael saw her staring. "Do you like the tie? It matches the school colors, I thought it was a great touch." He smiled to himself. 

Jane sat up in the bed and reached out, taking Michael's hand. It wasn't cold like she expected it to be. It was the hand she had known, warm and calloused. He smiled down at her and kissed her. "Come on, Mateo will be mad if we aren't at his graduation." 

Jane's mouth was dry. "Graduation?" 

Michael laughed and fake knocked her on the head, "Did the nap give you amnesia? Mateo's graduating university today? I thought you would be more excited."

Jane's eyes widened. "Excited, I'm ecstatic!" Jane played off her confusion and went along with the dorky look Michael gave her. Jane got out of bed and went to the closet. 

"Jane, the dress is over here." Michael said, shaking his head, "You have been planning what you were going to wear for months now." Michael handed her the short dress, it was elegant and matched Michael's suit.  Jane slipped it on and Michael zipped it up, turned her around and held her arms. "I just don't know how it's possible."

"What?" She said, smiling.

"You get more beautiful each day and it still surprises me." He kissed her again, caressing the side of her face with his hand. He then took a look at his watch. "Oh we're going to be late, we still have to pick up Alba, Xo and Rogelio." He grabbed her hand and Jane picked up her shoes, passing herself in the mirror, she realized her hair and makeup were already done. Now, that seemed a little unrealistic.

Michael took her through their house, going too fast for Jane to take everything in. The things she did see were quirky and cute. Stuff that belonged in a house owned by them. The garage was connected to their house, Michael's desk sat in the corner of the spacious garage. Pictures of them on a bulletin board. A framed law degree sitting above it. "Jane, get in!"

They owned a mini van. Michael opened the garage door and drove out onto the street of an all too perfect green neighborhood. Their house was homey, flowers leading the walkway to a nice looking patio. They had a giant tree on the side of the house with a tire swinging from it. The neighbor waved as they drove away. The next houses were blurry, smudged. Not as developed as theirs. She didn't even recognize the neighborhood. 

Jane's phone rang, a young adult's face popped on her screen. Mateo. His curly hair had been cut down into a clean quiff. He looked like a younger Rafael. He had a great smile. Jane teared up, he had grown up into such a lovely young man. 

"Are you going to answer him?" Michael asked, "Why are you so out of it today, Jane? Are you okay?" 

"Oh! Yeah, I'm just so surprised that he's grown up so fast."

"I know, it's like I have whiplash."

Jane answered Mateo's FaceTime call. "Mom, are you coming?"

"Yes, Mateo, you know I wouldn't miss it for the world. We're on our way to pick up abuela."

"Okay. Just hurry up."  He looked so nervous and stressed.  Jane worried he was too much like her. 

"I will, but just know its going to be okay. You should be excited. You're going to be an adult!"

"That's what I'm worried about, mom! I don't want to be an adult. I like being in school." Mateo said, groaning and fixing his graduation cap. Oh, Jane and Mateo were way too similar. 

"You could always go to graduate school." Michael pitched in. "Hopefully, you can get a job to pay that for you but still."

"And Michael went to law school. He changed his career path, that's okay. That's what life's about, Mateo. It's the journey."

"Yeah yeah okay, mom. Don't get all fake deep on me."

Michael gasped, "Do not call your mother fake deep, She's a respected writer and she's right." 

Mateo laughed, reminding Jane so much of Rafael. "Okay, sorry mom. I'll see you guys soon."

"See you, Mateo." Jane hung up and then Michael pulled up to a hotel. Xo, Alba and Rogelio waited outside the lobby and then piled into the minivan all looking ravishing. Especially Rogelio in his lavender suit. Xo wearing a skirt to match. 

"Hi, mija." Xo grabbed Jane's shoulder. 

"I can't believe my Matelio is all grown up." Rogelio said, sniffing. 

"Eres tan dramático." Alba said.

"Yeah, Rogelio. Mateo doesn't want you to call him that anymore." Michael said.

"Oh sure he does. He will just have to deal with it. Just for today." 

The university was much closer than Jane expected it to be. It was empty. Just 5 chairs there for them in a field. Michael parked on the street and they all got out like this was normal. They sat in the chairs and watched Mateo walk across the stage accepting his degree. The one professor shook his hand and then fireworks were set off. Jane looked around, expecting the others to be as confused as her but they aren't. They clapped, so she did too. Mateo came over to them, beaming. He hugged Jane. "I wouldn't have done it without you, mom. Love you."

"I love you, too..." He hugged the rest of the family. Jane couldn't keep up with what was going on. Why was the ceremony so short?

Michael held Jane's hand, "I know you've been super out of it today but I love you and you'll be okay, no matter what's going on."

~~~

Jane woke up with someone knocking on her door. "Come in." She said, standing up and checking on Mateo. He was back to his regular, more accurate size. What a weird dream. It felt so real but it was so unusual. Jane never had such vivid dreams.

"Jane, the hospital called." Rafael said, his eyes looking down.

"What's wrong?"

"Michael's body is missing."

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> oof. Now that I write this I sort of understand why the writers didn't give us more. This is painful as heck.
> 
> Anyway did all see the season finale??? I was yelling. I had predicted that would've happen but I wonder how it's gonna affect Jane's life. I hope it works out okay...


End file.
